So, I went to my high school to pick up my GCSE Certificates tonight. And to be honest I was really excited to go back and see everyone. It's been a while since we've all been together, and I wanted to talk to the people I've lost contact with.
Upon arrival I am ushered into the assembly hall I've sat in for 5 years and things are all ready awkward. I'm just on time, so most of my classmates are already sat down...in exactly the same places they always sat. With the same people, probably talking about the same things.
Not much changes around here.
Well, I never felt like I really fit in at high school, don't get me wrong I had friends, I still have high school friends, but I was part of a large group of girls, around 12. Considering my year group was made up of 120 students, that's 10% of the year. Most of these girls I never got along with. They weren't mean, we just had different interests.
Ok, so now I'm stood in front of my old year group, with anyone I want to sit with already with the people I don't want to see. So I sit on the front row (lol nerd) and wait for the 'ceremony' to start.
It's alright, we're called up name by name and shake hands with the head teacher and collect our certificates and sit back down.
Then its 'social' time, and I wanted to go and see some of the people I've been dying to talk to. But when we go into the main hall, the dinner tables are still set up and everyone goes and sits on their old tables. Me included it was surreal to be back there.
I'd waited so long to leave high school, that being back was strange, not somewhere I wanted to be. So at our tables we sit, in the same seats, because we planned where we sat during our years there.
This is when I realise. I AM back in high school.
I'm acting like I was back then, quiet, not making eye contact, feeling awkward, out of place.
But that's not me anymore, I'm confident at college, I know lots of people, I smile as I pass them in the corridors.
Now all I want to do is go home, because there I am the new me. High school was, as it is for many, tough for me. Going back tonight reminded me of how far I've come in the past few months.
I love college, it's so much better than high school! Everything's just better, better atmosphere, better teachers (except chemistry -.-), more people.
I guess I just wanted to say, when you leave high school, you can leave who you were behind. I sure as hell did.
Liv
x
